Quotations that match 'joke'.

If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes. Bob Edwards
[ Anything Done Jokes Laugh Most Own Their Want Well Why Yourself]
When you tell an Iowan a joke, you can see a kind of race going on between his brain and his expression. Bill Bryson
[ Between Brain Expression Going His Joke Kind Race See Tell]
The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. Look at Michael Jackson, he never evolved. Corey Feldman
[ Become Biggest Change Evolved Jackson Jokes Look Michael Never Past Stay Way Were]
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they're funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature. Patty Duke
[ Around Because Colorful Funny Joke Lot Manic Nature Our Outrageous Part Things Times]
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge. Robert Goulet
[ Audience Because Change Charge Jokes Mood Relax Songs Talk Tell Tempos Want Whenever]
Comedy is just to me, maybe it's a natural knack, if I can see where the joke is in the writing and I can see where the setup is and I can tell this is the way to make it. Matt LeBlanc
[ Comedy Joke Just Knack Make Maybe Natural See Setup Tell Way Where Writing]
A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. Georg C. Lichtenberg
[ Character Clearly His Joke Nothing Person Resents Reveals]
Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side. John Fahey
[ Blind Death First Good Guy Joe John Joke Made Other Record Say Side Thought Well Would]
For the amount of talent I had - and I couldn't dance, act, or tell a joke - I enjoyed a tremendous career. Perry Como
[ Act Amount Career Dance Enjoyed Had Joke Talent Tell Tremendous]
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. Robert Frost
[ Big Forgive Great Joke Jokes Little Lord Thee Thy]
When I make a book, I make it for the child and not for the parent - no jokes in it for the parents! Dick Bruna
[ Book Child Jokes Make Parent Parents]
I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold. Bernhard Langer
[ Being Cold Crack Games Jokes More Nature Play Really Than]
Well, there are conjoined twins in real life and we can tell a story about them so long as they're not the brunt of the jokes. In this, they're the heroes of this story; we love these guys. Bobby Farrelly
[ Brunt Guys Heroes Jokes Life Long Love Real Story Tell Them These Twins Well]
It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can see it intellectually, as well as emotionally, and I don't know whether you've noticed, but if somebody tells a joke, it's nearly always a mini fantasy. Diana Wynne Jones
[ Always Emotionally Everybody Fantasy Humour Intellectually Joke Keeping Know Mini Nearly Noticed Off Sane See Seems Situations Somebody Standing Tells Way Well Whether]
Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what. Jackson Browne
[ Always Each How Joke Jokes Kind Makes Mean Money Much Musician Musicians Other Really Someone Starving Usually]
It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes. Wanda Sykes
[ Became Behind Confident First Forward Instead Jokes Just More Myself Out Put Until]
These endless legal challenges that define elections in New York are a joke in this country, and they are the reason why it is so expensive, or one of the reasons, it's so expensive to run here and why so many people decide not to run. Michael Bloomberg
[ Challenges Country Decide Define Elections Endless Expensive Here Joke Legal Many New Reason Reasons Run These Why York]
Desegregation is a joke. Nina Simone
[ Joke]
Most jokes state a bitter truth. Larry Gelbart
[ Bitter Jokes Most State Truth]
It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes. Thomas Aquinas
[ Deeds Jokes Make Mind Playful Relaxation Requisite Time Use]
So, whenever Scooter was the Pilot, he never had a chance to fly the orbiter. So, the joke is: I'm going to have a chance to fly it first and hand it over to him. Duane G. Carey
[ Chance First Fly Going Had Hand Him Joke Never Orbiter Over Pilot Scooter Whenever]
And I liked pluralist Australia. I got a taste for pluralist Australia. I like, I like Australians and I can't believe that they're going to go to hell because they tell a good dirty joke, you know. Thomas Keneally
[ Australia Australians Because Believe Dirty Go Going Good Got Hell Joke Know Liked Taste Tell]
A rich man's joke is always funny. Thomas Edward Brown
[ Always Funny Joke Man Rich]
The joke newspaper, it says Canada abandons the monarchy. Mark McKinney
[ Abandons Canada Joke Monarchy Newspaper Says]
A civil servant doesn't make jokes. Eugene Ionesco
[ Civil Jokes Make Servant]
Sometimes my colleagues joke and call me Hannah. Hanoi Hannah
[ Call Colleagues Hannah Joke Sometimes]
I also try to think of ways to articulate the joke more economically. David Cross
[ Also Articulate Economically Joke More Think Try Ways]
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? Steven Wright
[ Forest Joke Laughs Nobody Tell]
My driver Kellie Frost and I would race these fellows home and they were always faster on the highway. We did the same with Daniel and his driver, and thus began a long series of jokes and competitions to alleviate the impossible hours and tensions this film provoked. Madeleine Stowe
[ Alleviate Always Began Competitions Daniel Did Driver Faster Fellows Film Frost Highway His Home Hours Impossible Jokes Long Provoked Race Same Series Tensions These Thus Were Would]
The thing about all good horror movies is that the fans expect a couple of inside jokes. Maybe I'm supposed to be saying how terrified I was while making it, but it was really fun. Margot Kidder
[ Couple Expect Fans Fun Good Horror How Inside Jokes Making Maybe Movies Really Saying Supposed Terrified Thing While]
I always thought security was a joke at New York airports, and in U.S. airports to begin with. You can go through any European or Middle Eastern airport and things are a lot tougher. Richard Drew
[ Airport Airports Always Any Begin Eastern European Go Joke Lot Middle New Security Things Thought Through Tougher York]
It's much easier to make jokes about sensitive issues if there is some dissent, some conflict. Mo Rocca
[ Conflict Dissent Easier Issues Jokes Make Much Sensitive Some]
Writing for young children I find I often use particular jokes with words and exaggerated, funny events, but some of these haunt the more complex stories for older children too. Margaret Mahy
[ Children Complex Events Exaggerated Find Funny Haunt Jokes More Often Older Particular Some Stories These Too Use Words Writing Young]
With silly stuff, it's seventy-five percent confidence. I always tell people that it's because I'm nervous about getting that next laugh and I need to hear it. I always want to condense a joke. Tim Vine
[ Always Because Condense Confidence Getting Hear Joke Laugh Need Nervous Next Percent Seventy-Five Silly Stuff Tell Want]
They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh. Mike Epps
[ Black Call Come Comedy Dealers Down Get Hardest Jokes Just Laugh Listen Local Make Night Only Sit Tell Them Thugs Watch Where Your]
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. Ludwig Wittgenstein
[ Consisting Could Entirely Good Jokes Philosophical Serious Work Written]
I'd like to think I'd never do a gratuitous fart joke. Harold Ramis
[ Fart Gratuitous Joke Never Think]
Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant. Rue McClanahan
[ Anything Blatant Could Get Grown Jokes Kids Know Laugh Now Our Remained Say Show Tell Up Watch Watching Would]
I've included these little jokes and mysteries in my writing for the amusement of readers. Armistead Maupin
[ Amusement Included Jokes Little Mysteries Readers These Writing]
The joke that I make is that there are instances on the TV series that happen to me, - except on Sex and the City they always make it better or worse than real life and I am actually saying that in a joking way. Candace Bushnell
[ Actually Always Am Better City Except Happen Instances Joke Joking Life Make Real Saying Series Sex Than Tv Way Worse]
Actors fall into this trap if they missed being loved for who they really were and not for what they could do - sing, dance, joke about - then they take that as love. Gene Wilder
[ Actors Being Could Dance Fall Into Joke Love Loved Missed Really Sing Take Then Trap Were]
A symphony is no joke. Johannes Brahms
[ Joke Symphony]
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome. T. S. Eliot
[ Entertainment Joke Listen Lonesome Medium Millions Permits Remain Same Television Time Which Yet]
I didn't just want to be Frank's daughter who sang Boots. I take my music very seriously and studied very hard. It's not a joke to me. Nancy Sinatra
[ Boots Daughter Frank Hard Joke Just Music Sang Seriously Studied Take Very Want]
I try to exist in a world where there is freedom of opinion, where you're allowed to make jokes. I don't want to live in some PC world where no-one's allowed to say anything. Boy George
[ Allowed Anything Exist Freedom Jokes Live Make No-One Opinion Pc Say Some Try Want Where World]
Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere. Judd Nelson
[ Admit Almost Anything Anywhere Being Especially Ever Expense Jokes Laugh Makes Never Own Will]
I never really was much of a practical jokester or anything. Kristanna Loken
[ Anything Much Never Practical Really]
You've really got to start hitting the books because it's no joke out here. Harper Lee
[ Because Books Got Here Hitting Joke Out Really Start]
I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes. Sandra Bernhard
[ Bad Comic Consider Jokes Myself Performer Tells]
There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up - or didn't - and Jamaican stories. Neil Gaiman
[ African Allowing Comedy Folk Freedom Glorious Interrupt Jokes Just Made Myself Old Sense Stories Tell Up]
I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show. Samantha Bee
[ Aware Because Believe Get Going Jokes Never News Order Really Say Show Sort Them]
You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else. Robert Louis Stevenson
[ Else Joke Kant Must Read Share Someone Wanted Yourself]
You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the best - or you're gonna make it work out. Jack Youngblood
[ Around Because Best Gonna Joke Kid Learn Make Out Seriously Somehow Take Things Too Work]
As for pictures and museums, that don't trouble me. The worst of going abroad is that you've always got to look at things of that sort. To have to do it at home would be beyond a joke. Margaret Oliphant
[ Abroad Always Beyond Going Got Home Joke Look Museums Pictures Sort Things Trouble Worst Would]
When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places. Seth MacFarlane
[ Day Going Hours Job Jokes Mind Places Room Starts Strange Write Your]
All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they're not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us. Yahoo Serious
[ Big Comedy Films Hold Jokes Just Mirror Try Up Us]
I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this. Julia Sweeney
[ Jokes Minutes Realize Really Standup Took While]
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard. Kathy Griffin
[ Cancer Chemotherapy Darkest Ever Friends Going Heard Hideous Jokes Make Most Through]
The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind. H. P. Lovecraft
[ Comic Indeed Joke Mankind World]
I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something. Steve Harvey
[ Jokes Life Mean Old Some Something Stage Standing Telling Want Years]
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. Clifton Paul Fadiman Humor
[ Ability Humor Joke Oneself Sense Understand]
Elvis was, at least the times I was around him, Elvis was a practical joker. He was always, had some little mischievous something going. Jackie DeShannon
[ Always Around Elvis Going Had Him Least Little Mischievous Practical Some Something Times]
It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour. Keenen Ivory Wayans
[ Crowd Give Gross Humour Jokes Lots Sex Teenage Them University]
I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I'm doing. I don't give a damn if half the audience walks out. David Antin
[ Audience Common Damn Dog Doing Even Give Half Jokes Out Part Reserve Right Stories Tell Walks]
The joke in our family is that we can cry reading the phone book. Ron Reagan Family
[ Book Cry Family Joke Our Phone Reading]
Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching. Baltasar Gracian
[ Advice Grave Joke More Sometimes Successfully Teaching Than Through Transmitted]
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too. Bob Saget
[ Aristocrats Clean Clock Dirty Funny Guys Job Joke Know Network Night Show Stuff Tell Those Though Too Tv Video Would]
I start with the joke line and write backward. Nipsey Russell
[ Backward Joke Line Start Write]
Lacroix has been fantastic. He's very nice. He gets the joke, and I think that's a good thing. Jennifer Saunders
[ Been Fantastic Gets Good Joke Nice Thing Think Very]
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out. Ron White
[ Album Because Done Em First Jokes Know Out Some Those Throw Twelve Years]
I sometimes joke, Paula, even paranoid people have enemies. Rahm Emanuel
[ Enemies Even Joke Paranoid Paula Sometimes]
Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that. J. M. Barrie
[ Done Every Go High Himself Joke Knows Lets Likes Man Only Our Smiles Think Up Wife Woman]
I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work. Colin Mochrie
[ Line Practical Traveling Work]
I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level. Matt Groening
[ Again Books College Completely Different Few Get Go Grow Idea Jokes Kids Later Level Love Put Read Show Up Watch]
I always laugh the hardest at the stuff you see in day-to-day life. It's great when somebody can tell a joke that really makes you laugh hard, but to see some kind of personal interaction that no one could write is so good. Those are always the things that make me laugh. Luke Wilson
[ Always Could Day-To-Day Good Great Hard Hardest Interaction Joke Kind Laugh Life Make Makes Personal Really See Some Somebody Stuff Tell Things Those Write]
But today, I feel the genuine warmth, the affection, and although I may joke about it, I am touched. Perry Como
[ Affection Although Am Feel Genuine Joke May Today Touched Warmth]
Everybody doesn't have to get every joke. People really appreciate not being condescended to. Matt Groening
[ Appreciate Being Every Everybody Get Joke Really]
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? Rita Rudner
[ Eighteen Feeling Get God Joke Men Peak Playing Practical Reach Sexual Their Theirs Thirty-Five Women]
The gods too are fond of a joke. Aristotle
[ Fond Gods Joke Too]
I don't really know what is shocking. When you tell the story of a man who is beheaded, you have to show how they cut off his head. If you don't, it's like telling a dirty joke and leaving out the punch line. Roman Polanski
[ Beheaded Cut Dirty Head His How Joke Know Leaving Line Man Off Out Punch Really Shocking Show Story Tell Telling]
A caricature is putting the face of a joke on the body of a truth. Joseph Conrad
[ Body Caricature Face Joke Putting Truth]
Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes. Aries Spears
[ Able Actually Because Been Before Cable Comedy Finish Hasn Jokes Kind Really Seen Sketch Think Uncensored]
Kids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend about a funny story or a joke, the more they'll enjoy it. Brian P. Cleary
[ Adults Also Ask Because Bored Comprehend Enjoy Find Funny Joke Kids Laughing More Often Questions Seldom Something Story Understand Words]
Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke. F. Scott Fitzgerald
[ Cut Exclamation Joke Laughing Out Own Point Points These Your]
I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on. Bob Woodward
[ Bit Book Caught David Did Get Guard Joke Jokes Journalists Letterman Little Made More Much Off Recently Serious Show Shows Some Than Very]
The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that. Simon Pegg
[ Big Film Get Jokes Life Love Main Things Zombies]
A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go. Max Eastman
[ Expect Go Goal Him Joke Just Land Listener Mind Nowhere Off Plausible Play Process Start Sudden Then Thing Toward Trick Twist Where]
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny. Bryan White
[ Asked Dress Funny Her Joke Knew Marry Never Pretty Serious She Showed Somebody Time Up Wedding]
The insular arrogance of the English character is a commonplace joke. Goldwin Smith
[ Arrogance Character Commonplace English Insular Joke]
The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show, write all the dialog, and decide the mood, action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene. Craig McCracken
[ Action Artists Decide Dialog Etc Every Job Jokes Mood Out Pacing Plan Scene Shot Show Storyboard Whole Write]
Paris and Nicky Hilton? Those girls will show up to the opening of a phone book. It's like a big joke. Rachel Perry
[ Big Book Girls Hilton Joke Opening Paris Phone Show Those Up Will]
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. Mitch Hedberg
[ Bunch Cord Go Hear Hold Jokes Microphone Once Pinch Then Together Whole]
A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. George Eliot
[ Affections Difference Great Jokes Strain Taste]
Housekeeping ain't no joke. Louisa May Alcott
[ Housekeeping Joke]
When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer. Joan Van Ark
[ Become Idiot Joke Least Longer Much Starts Village]
I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum. Tim Vine
[ Coffee Dates Day Deadline Every Front Imagining Jokes Keep Minimum Need Places Rubbish Sit Standing Then These Think Tour Write]
It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination. Martha Gellhorn
[ Atrophy Bitter Cosmic Destroy Due Imagination Joke Ourselves Would]
I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny. David Cross
[ Down Funny Idea Joke Original Something Then Thing Think Thought Two Which Will Within Write]
In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can't help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They're very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you're there. Bill Murray
[ Any Being Either Entire Feel Help Idea Japan Joke Makes Nothing Played Polite Saying Sense Time Very]
I don't care if my jokes are appropriate for a kid. Drew Carey
[ Appropriate Care Jokes Kid]
I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny. Mark Russell
[ Both Funny Jokes Sides]
I had my electricity turned off three times because I never had time to pay my bills. It was a joke. I'm making a ton of money, and I'm walking around my apartment with flashlights. Sherry Stringfield
[ Apartment Around Because Bills Electricity Had Joke Making Money Never Off Pay Three Time Times Ton Turned Walking]
I've heard every pie joke in the book. I'm still waiting for an original one. Jason Biggs
[ Book Every Heard Joke Original Pie Still Waiting]
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. Mitch Hedberg
[ Been Funny Jokes These]
You're over there in the corner either thinking about the dead dog or whatever, you're bringing up your personal life and you need the space, and then somebody throws you a joke. Especially if it's an emotional scene, you don't want the joke. Marcia Gay Harden
[ Bringing Corner Dead Dog Either Emotional Especially Joke Life Need Over Personal Scene Somebody Space Then Thinking Throws Up Want Whatever Your]
Sex is God's joke on human beings. Bette Davis
[ Beings God Human Joke Sex]
Now, everybody, I suppose, is aware that in recent years the silly business of divination by dreams has ceased to be a joke and has become a very serious science. Arthur Machen
[ Aware Become Business Ceased Dreams Everybody Joke Now Recent Science Serious Silly Suppose Very Years]
I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did. Glen Campbell
[ Did Guess Jokes Many Miller Roger Say Thought Used]
People always joke that "dog" spells "god" backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well they do, what kind of people they are. The animals are right here, right in front of us. And how we treat these companions is a test. Linda Blair
[ Always Animals Backwards Coming Companions Consider Dog Down Front God Here Higher How Joke Just Kind Might Power Right See Should Spells Test These Treat Us Well]
I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening. Dan Hicks
[ Alive Also Audience Been Getting Good Guess Happening Idea Jokes Listens Quiet Respond]
Death's an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew. Ivan Turgenev
[ Anew Death Each Encounters Individual Joke Old]
I never smile when I have a bat in my hands. That's when you've got to be serious. When I get out on the field, nothing's a joke to me. I don't feel like I should walk around with a smile on my face. Hank Aaron
[ Around Bat Face Feel Field Get Got Hands Joke Never Nothing Out Serious Should Smile Walk]
It's a lot easier, I think, to be an actor in a movie than to spin a joke on a sitcom. Nicole Sullivan
[ Actor Easier Joke Lot Movie Sitcom Spin Than Think]
Years ago I was a runway model, and I used to get laughs. I thought it was a joke anyway. Nora Dunn
[ Ago Anyway Get Joke Laughs Model Runway Thought Used Years]
I have always noticed that deeply and truly religious persons are fond of a joke, and I am suspicious of those who aren't. Alfred North Whitehead
[ Always Am Deeply Fond Joke Noticed Persons Religious Suspicious Those Truly]
I always thought of Levittown as a joke. Bill Griffith
[ Always Joke Thought]
Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously. Rob Corddry
[ Actually Air Answer Funny Going Jokes Just Make None Questions Really Say Seriously Sometimes Think Your]
That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics! Alan Vega
[ Because Big Came Eminem First Funny Guy Him His Joke Know Laugh Lyrics Man Out Real Seemed Something Think Ya]
In New York there isn't that weird palpable competitive thing where it's friendly but everyone isn't trying to top one another with jokes when you're just hanging around. David Cross
[ Another Around Competitive Everyone Friendly Hanging Jokes Just New Palpable Thing Top Trying Weird Where York]
The English had hit upon a splendid joke. They intended to catch me or to bring me down. Manfred von Richthofen
[ Bring Catch Down English Had Hit Intended Joke Splendid Upon]
I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes. Rainn Wilson
[ Always Been How Jokes Know Lots Regular Sitcoms Tell Terrible]
It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. Max Eastman
[ Ability Humor Joke Make Proves Sense Take]
I never told a joke in my life. Andy Kaufman
[ Joke Life Never Told]
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. Will Rogers
[ Changing Comedians Everything Joke Politicians Seriously Taking Their]
I'm a bit of a worrier, to an extreme. I'll crack a joke, then worry if I've offended someone - even when they're laughing. I have a guilt complex, always worrying. Sophia Bush
[ Always Bit Complex Crack Even Extreme Guilt Joke Laughing Offended Someone Then Worry Worrying]
We feel that what's too far is when you make a joke and somebody gets hurt. Bobby Farrelly
[ Far Feel Gets Hurt Joke Make Somebody Too]
I always make this joke that I know you were expecting to see the big skirts and the hoops. But that was a long time ago. Artists aren't always seen as real people. If you start out as a teenager, sometimes people want to keep you locked as that. But I'm a woman now. Jody Watley
[ Ago Always Artists Big Expecting Hoops Joke Keep Know Locked Long Make Now Out Real See Seen Skirts Sometimes Start Teenager Time Want Were Woman]
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet. Oliver Herford
[ Gave Haven Irish Joke Seen Yet]
You have to struggle a bit, hustle a little, and be willing to go bankrupt. Once you're willing to do that, everything opens up and you get the freedom. My joke is that next year, I'll make the first film that costs zero dollars. Nick Nolte
[ Bankrupt Bit Costs Dollars Everything Film First Freedom Get Go Hustle Joke Little Make Next Once Opens Struggle Up Willing Year Zero]
The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes. Adrian Edmondson
[ Ever Fun Jokes Laugh Most Our Own Rick Sitting Writing]
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments. David Letterman
[ Between Gentlemen Great Into Jokes Know Ladies Problem Run See These]
The joke I wanted to put into one of the promos for this new season, was to have a guy come up to me and say, Hey! Tony! I love your show, I've watched you every night since you started! And then I'd say, Ah! You're the one! Tony Danza
[ Ah Come Every Guy Hey Into Joke Love New Night Promos Put Say Season Show Since Started Then Tony Up Wanted Watched Your]
There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes his whole universe for a vast practical joke. Herman Melville
[ Affair Call Certain His Joke Life Man Mixed Occasions Practical Queer Strange Takes Times Universe Vast Whole]
I've always joked about Joe Montana not appreciating his Super Bowls nearly as much as I do because he never lost one. We lost three before we got one. John Elway
[ Always Appreciating Because Before Bowls Got His Joe Lost Montana Much Nearly Never Super Three]
My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh. Carrot Top
[ Fitting Jokes Laugh Making Through Way]
U.S. soldiers, with whom I now have more than a passing acquaintance, joke that they track my movements in order to know where they will be deployed next. Christiane Amanpour
[ Acquaintance Deployed Joke Know More Movements Next Now Order Passing Soldiers Than Track Where Whom Will]
I think that every show on television has its place. I think Married With Children or, I don't know, The Nanny... some people want to go home, turn on the TV and be able to iron their clothes or grab a sandwich. Come out and catch a joke and not have to follow the story. Peter Krause
[ Able Catch Children Clothes Come Every Follow Go Grab Home Iron Joke Know Married Nanny Out Place Sandwich Show Some Story Television Their Think Turn Tv Want]
I'd come from the bottom of the barrel. Just Owen Hart getting out of the shadow of Bret Hart's little brother. Everyone figured, this is a joke, Owen's going to get squashed. Owen Hart
[ Barrel Bottom Bret Brother Come Everyone Figured Get Getting Going Hart Joke Just Little Out Owen Shadow Squashed]
In life there are always these things happening if you can just get the joke. Lynda Barry
[ Always Get Happening Joke Just Life These Things]
I feel that after all those horrible reviews and jokes, I wasn't crazy all these years to stand up for the music I believe in. This album has proven that somewhere in the human race, the human heart is still racing and breaking and I am so grateful. Barry Manilow
[ After Album Am Believe Breaking Crazy Feel Grateful Heart Horrible Human Jokes Music Proven Race Racing Reviews Somewhere Stand Still These Those Up Years]
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke. John Krasinski
[ Being Carry Down Funny Girls Good Greatest Having Joke Make Smile Strengths Time]
Same thing, like my commercials are often times really funny because I tend to find 30 seconds is a really good amount of time to tell a joke. Alex Winter
[ Amount Because Commercials Find Funny Good Joke Often Really Same Seconds Tell Tend Thing Time Times]
You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!. Rob Zombie
[ Because Discovering Generation Joke Liked Might New Then Wham Whole]
It had more layers than an onion. These writers meant business. There was a level for everybody. Your major could be celestial mechanics, and there'd be celestial-mechanics jokes. Billy West
[ Business Celestial Could Everybody Had Jokes Layers Level Major Meant Mechanics More Onion Than These Writers Your]
It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh. Malcolm Muggeridge
[ Discovered English Haunted Holds Jokes Laugh Laughter Life Lost Make More Occupation Old Place Somber Than Trying Wretched]
It devastates me now that I have been reduced to a Hollywood statistic - another joke marriage. Sophia Bush
[ Another Been Hollywood Joke Marriage Now Reduced Statistic]
You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic. Dylan Moran
[ Achieve Elastic Jokes Making Realism Surreal Through]
Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn't think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian. David Zucker
[ Airplane Because Bill Chase Chevy Comedian Funny Guys Joke Known Love Murray Right Step Think Those Thought Were Would]
It is a good deed to forget a poor joke. Brendan Behan
[ Deed Forget Good Joke Poor]
In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before. Frank Dane
[ Before Heard Including Jokes Laughs Ones Polite Society]
When I'm writing the book I'm laughing at just how overblown the characters seemed. How full of himself he seems. But I didn't get far enough in the series to really drive the joke of it home. Jhonen Vasquez
[ Book Characters Drive Enough Far Full Get Himself Home How Joke Just Laughing Overblown Really Seemed Seems Series Writing]
What other culture could have produced someone like Hemmingway and not seen the joke? Gore Vidal
[ Could Culture Joke Other Produced Seen Someone]
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them. Dolly Parton
[ Assume Big Bosoms Breasts Got Heart Jokes Look Make Mine Obvious Ones Them Then Underneath Want Why]
We were watching the first series recently, and it has a charm, a kind of amateur charm. At that point we didn't involve ourselves technically at all - we just messed about and told our jokes - and it looks a bit like that. Jennifer Saunders
[ Amateur Bit Charm First Involve Jokes Just Kind Looks Messed Our Ourselves Point Recently Series Technically Told Watching Were]
I've been paying alimony since I was 14 and child support since 15. That's a joke, but not by much. Don Adams
[ Alimony Been Child Joke Much Paying Since Support]
My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog. Cathy Guisewite
[ Best Buddy Dog Every Her Jokes Out Really Secrets Shared She Talked Think Time Tried]
I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. Todd Barry
[ Comment Error Even Had Joke Logic Make Mean Mine Never Out Pointing Right Some Something Sort Thought Waiters]
A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh. Wanda Sykes
[ Everybody Guy Joke Laugh Nothing Pitch Then Woman Would]
Gentle dullness ever loves a joke. Alexander Pope
[ Dullness Ever Gentle Joke Loves]
I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me. Jensen Ackles
[ Around Boy Hot Jokes Just Makes Mr Pulls Regular Sound Very]
Have you ever heard a good joke? If you've ever heard someone just right, with the right pacing, then you're already on the way to poetry. It's about using words in very precise ways and using gesture. Rita Dove
[ Already Ever Gesture Good Heard Joke Just Pacing Poetry Precise Right Someone Then Using Very Way Ways Words]
In fact, it used to be a joke if you studied at a University. Tony Randall
[ Fact Joke Studied University Used]
Jokes are grievances. Marshall McLuhan
[ Grievances Jokes]
I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. Mitch Hedberg
[ Adding Fix Gonna Joke Last New Ones Out Taking Words]
Gene Autry was the most. It may sound like a joke - Go and have a look in my bedroom, It's covered with Gene Autry posters. He was my first musical influence. Ringo Starr
[ Autry Bedroom Covered First Gene Go Influence Joke Look May Most Musical Posters Sound]
When a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punch line to a joke. Brian P. Cleary
[ Because Finding Going Interest Joke Kid Line Mean Means Out Punch Real Some Things Thinking Two Understand Vested Word]
I have a new joke today. Martha Stewart's on suicide watch. They had to unplug all of her ovens. Rip Taylor
[ Had Her Joke Martha New Stewart Suicide Today Unplug Watch]
There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable. Benoit Mandelbrot
[ Acceptable Always Find Hammer Hit Joke Nails Perfectly Will Your]
Gracious dying is a huge, macabre and expensive joke on the American public. Jessica Mitford
[ American Dying Expensive Gracious Huge Joke Public]
It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me. Lea DeLaria
[ Because Complete Cosmic Joke Lesbian Men Mystery Understand Well Women]
The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. George Orwell
[ Aim Already Being Degrade Degraded Him Human Joke Remind]
Everyone recognizes that's a joke because obviously the number and shape of the pieces doesn't affect the size of the pizza. And similarly, the stocks, bonds, warrants, etc., issued don't affect the aggregate value of the firm. Merton Miller
[ Affect Aggregate Because Bonds Etc Everyone Firm Issued Joke Number Obviously Pieces Pizza Recognizes Shape Similarly Size Stocks Value Warrants]
Some of those more out-there jokes were written in the wee hours of the morning. Somehow, they remained funny the next day. Seth MacFarlane
[ Day Funny Hours Jokes More Morning Next Remained Some Somehow Those Wee Were Written]
A joke is a very serious thing. Winston Churchill Humor
[ Joke Serious Thing Very]
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. Fred Allen
[ Age Been Comedian Comedy Compelled Compete First Himself History Jokes Knows Living Machine Material Oblivion Supply Time Treadmill Whether]
Sometimes I wonder why God ever trusts talent in the hands of women, they usually make such an infernal mess of it. I think He must do it as a sort of ghastly joke. Willa Cather
[ Ever Ghastly God Hands Infernal Joke Make Mess Must Sometimes Sort Such Talent Think Trusts Usually Why Women Wonder]
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant. Washington Irving
[ Abundant Companionship Equal Good Honest Humor Jokes Laughter Meeting Merry Oil Rather Small Where Wine]
I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter. Tahar Ben Jelloun
[ Friendship Jokes Laughter Life Love Mars Spite]
Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the whole thing. W. S. Merwin
[ End Get Joke Lost Making Poetry Thing Whole Word Wrong]
The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it. Bob Saget
[ Around Been Comedy How Interesting Joke Just Nature Say Saying Think Why Wrong]
Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them. John Lasseter
[ Could Deliver Funnier How Jokes Knew Learned Puns Soon Them Worse]
Because Buffy really has become the straight man, every once in a while it's nice to be the one that tells the joke and it's nice to be the one that is the joke and it's nice to do something that's a little bit different. Sarah Michelle Gellar
[ Because Become Bit Buffy Different Every Joke Little Man Nice Once Really Something Straight Tells While]
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves. David Letterman
[ Briefings Bush George Giving House Intelligence Jokes Just Know Some Themselves These White Write]
I agree with Sophocles: the greatest luck is not to have been born - but, as the joke goes on, very few people succeed in it. Slavoj Zizek
[ Agree Been Born Few Goes Greatest Joke Luck Succeed Very]
One of the jokes on our flight is that, if we have a normal entry day going, the plan is for me... to actually take the orbiter first and fly it for maybe 10 or 15 seconds and then hand it on over to Scooter. Duane G. Carey
[ Actually Day Entry First Flight Fly Going Hand Jokes Maybe Normal Orbiter Our Over Plan Scooter Seconds Take Then]
Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections. George Eliot
[ Affections Different Great Jokes Strain Taste]
Remember, if you do the same act for 20, 30 years it gets a little boring unless you've got something else going for you... And the orchestra really kept you going. They'd laugh at all your jokes, even if they'd been hearing them for the last 30 years. Donald O'Connor
[ Act Been Boring Else Even Gets Going Got Hearing Jokes Kept Last Laugh Little Orchestra Really Remember Same Something Them Unless Years Your]
I remember when I was in college, I used to watch Julia Child's cooking show during dinner and joke with my roommates about becoming a TV chef. Martin Yan
[ Becoming Chef Child College Cooking Dinner During Joke Julia Remember Roommates Show Tv Used Watch]
Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes. Ashley Tisdale
[ Brother Crazy Efron Goofy Jokes Just Lot Plays Practical]
People are learning to feel more comfortable hearing one another's dreams. It used to be that if you told a dream in public, someone had to make a joke to relieve the tension introduced by that alternative reality. Henry Reed
[ Alternative Another Comfortable Dream Dreams Feel Had Hearing Introduced Joke Learning Make More Public Reality Relieve Someone Tension Told Used]
I'm definitely the worker. My brother is the jokester. Taryn Manning
[ Brother Definitely Worker]
If you were on the phone with me and Tommy right now, we would probably forget you were there, we'd just be cracking jokes. It's like Beavis and Butthead. Nikki Sixx
[ Beavis Cracking Forget Jokes Just Now Phone Probably Right Tommy Were Would]
I laughed, even if I was the butt of the joke. Pete Waterman
[ Even Joke Laughed]
I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. Allan Sloan
[ Environment Grew Jokes Puns Sarcasm Talk Up Way Write]
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel. James Humes
[ Good Humor Joke Jokes Language Novel Speeches Wit]
A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. George Orwell
[ Dirty Joke Mental Rebellion Sort]
This is our lance. See, you're making me laugh about this now, because there have been a few jokes on the set about what they actually look like. But, see, I personally think they'd be a great toy. So... just batteries aren't included. Kevin Sorbo
[ Actually Batteries Because Been Few Great Included Jokes Just Lance Laugh Look Making Now Our Personally See Set Think Toy]
Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right. Matthew Perry
[ Addicted Because Funny Got Interviews Joke Life Little Love Much Period Pill Press Reason Right Seem Talk Too Your]
It's perfectly okay if you don't understand every single one of them. For one thing, I make a lot of corny jokes, and you have to be 40 years old to get some of them. Brian P. Cleary
[ Corny Every Get Jokes Lot Make Okay Old Perfectly Single Some Them Thing Understand Years]
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe. Emo Philips
[ British Comics Copy Duplicate Head Heads Jokes Lot Safe Where]
Some people, they just don't get a joke. Glenn Frey
[ Get Joke Just Some]
That was really so upsetting when you are trying to pass on some very serious knowledge and be basically, treated worse than a student coming off the street because his father pays the tuition. Come on. Give me a break. This is no school. This is a joke. Miroslav Vitous
[ Basically Because Break Come Coming Father Give His Joke Knowledge Off Pass Pays Really School Serious Some Street Student Than Treated Trying Tuition Upsetting Very Worse]
I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one. Marilyn Monroe
[ Jokes Look Making Mind Want]
A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes. Zac Efron
[ Bad Blush Girl Her Jokes Start Tell Telling]
Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman. Carey Williams
[ Change Daughter Farmer Jokes Now Salesman Tells Times Traveling]
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh. Simon Le Bon
[ Again Age Especially Joke Jokes Laugh Make Old Repeating Same Sign Telling Think Yourself]
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars. George Mikes
[ Aggressive Better Even Jokes Least Longest Most Shortest Than War Wars]
Back in the day, if someone said that hip hop and rap was a fad, that was a joke to me because they just didn't know what they were talking about. In reality, there were so many people who didn't know what they were talking about it. Jam Master Jay
[ Back Because Day Fad Hip Hop Joke Just Know Many Rap Reality Said Someone Talking Were]
Americans do believe in progress and there is almost certainly a kernel of truth in the joke. Alan Dundes
[ Almost Americans Believe Certainly Joke Kernel Progress Truth]
When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence. Evan Dando
[ Awful Behaviour Constant Feminine Get Gross Horrible Jokes Needs Presence Tour Ugly Women]
Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke. Joe Bob Briggs
[ Almost Club Every Joke Men Out Starts Tradition Venerable]
Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues. Jim Fowler
[ Carson His Johnny Jokes Marlin Monologues Started]
I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds. Dave Chappelle
[ Hang-Ups Hatreds Joke Racial Reasons Shedding Still Think Those]
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Will Rogers Politics
[ Facts Government Jokes Just Make Report Watch]
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. Muhammad Ali
[ Funniest Joke Joking Tell Truth Way World]
I have 40 years of unpublished material, the ones they don't pick, and the reason I don't redraw them or use them again is that I like to use my brain every day and come up with new jokes. Sergio Aragones
[ Again Brain Come Day Every Jokes Material New Ones Pick Reason Them Unpublished Up Use Years]
My life has been one great big joke, a dance that's walked a song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself. Maya Angelou
[ Almost Been Big Choke Dance Great Hard Joke Laugh Life Myself Song Spoke Think Walked]
All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That's kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different. But it was a joke and he made it that way. Sammy Hagar
[ Better Bottle Cares Changed Daniels David Different Doing Going His Jack Joke Kind Made Nothing Out Sad Than Then Used Way Would]
A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. Clifton Fadiman
[ Ability Humor Joke Oneself Sense Understand]
If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what's funny in the joke. Richard Russo
[ Comedy Funny Joke Kill Laboriously Too Work]
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke. Hermann Hesse
[ Enough Eternity Joke Just Long Mere Moment]
There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. Larry David
[ Emphasis Generally Jokes Life Particular Sense Show Situation Spontaneity Talk Way Were]
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. Gilbert K. Chesterton
[ Good Joke Religion Test Whether]
But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake. Parker Posey
[ Awake Comedians Doing Fun Go Jokes More Real Something These Were Would]
Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes. Martin Short
[ Get Jokes Obscure Passionate Sometimes]
Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive. Stella Benson
[ Alive Bond Cursed Families Family Jokes Keeps Most Rightly Strangers Though]
There was the joke about Switzerland being an island surrounded by land. This was never true. Samuel Schmid
[ Being Island Joke Land Never Surrounded Switzerland True]
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? Dick Clark Dad
[ Always Based Ever Father-In-Law Heard Humor Joke Modicum Truth]
You could read Kant by yourself, if you wanted; but you must share a joke with some one else. Robert Louis Stevenson
[ Could Else Joke Kant Must Read Share Some Wanted Yourself]
When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM. Megan Fox
[ Because Coolest Everyone Jokes Kid School Thought Told]
Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that. Then there are some of us who, early on, see that that doesn't work. So we joke about it. Merrill Markoe
[ Adorable Dress Early Get Joke Know Looking Plenty See Smile Some Then Up Us Work]
Don't make jokes about food. David Lean
[ Food Jokes Make]
I'll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them. We laugh to keep from crying. Kanye West
[ Crying Enjoy Form Joke Keep Laugh Put Say Serious Them Things]
One of my biggest problems with comedy was that I did not understand some of the jokes. Desi Arnaz
[ Biggest Comedy Did Jokes Problems Some Understand]
For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies. Laurence Sterne
[ Acquire Enemies Every Hundred Jokes Ten]
I've been burn when it comes to my hair that it ain't no joke. Jenifer Lewis
[ Been Burn Comes Hair Joke]
For the first few years we lived in a tiny rented cottage at the bottom of a friend's garden. We often joked that there was plenty of film in the fridge, but not too much food! Nigel Dennis
[ Bottom Cottage Few Film First Food Fridge Friend Garden Lived Much Often Plenty Rented Tiny Too Years]
Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke. Ambrose Bierce
[ Call Clever Joke Noted Philistine Pleased Quoted Remark Seldom Sharp Usually]
If you keep making jokes like that, somebody is going to shoot you, father. Mary Todd Lincoln
[ Father Going Jokes Keep Making Shoot Somebody]
It would be really hard to get serious about anything political today unless it was a joke. Carla Bley
[ Anything Get Hard Joke Political Really Serious Today Unless Would]
Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. Robert Collier
[ Between Cannot Continually Difference Eventually Humor Image Imagined Jokes Lives Manifest Minds Our Play Reality Sense Subconscious Tell Think Thought Will]
See, justice is a joke in this country, and it stinks of its hypocricy. H. Rap Brown
[ Country Joke Justice See Stinks]
Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke. William Hazlitt
[ Generally Joke Some Sufferer Sure]
Everyone for the most part is really nice. There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight. You can't make everyone completely happy. Tina Yothers
[ Always Been Being Completely Everyone Happy Jokes Make Most Nice Part Really Spotlight]
The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. David Ogilvy
[ Best Come Funny Ideas Jokes Make Possible Thinking Your]
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny! Mitch Hedberg
[ Amazing Came Cloud Funny Head Joke Off Top Why Wrong]
I'm from New York, I make kind of somewhat maybe lewd, at times - maybe some would say dirty - jokes. But in jest. Sarah Michelle Gellar
[ Dirty Jest Jokes Kind Make Maybe New Say Some Somewhat Times Would York]
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. Jessamyn West Humor
[ Appreciate Breaking Hearts Humor Irony Joke Kept More Oneself Sense Takes Taste Than Which]
He who does not understand a joke, he does not understand Danish. Georg Brandes
[ Danish Does Joke Understand]
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first. Jimmy Nail
[ Before First Gets Guy His Joke Other Speak Think]
I have done things politically, and I've been running a business at the same time, but I sort of joke that to some extent I do more than most legislators have done in their whole careers, and I've been doing it as a part-time job. Craig Benson
[ Been Business Careers Doing Done Extent Job Joke Legislators More Most Part-Time Politically Running Same Some Sort Than Their Things Time Whole]
There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere. Mose Allison
[ Few Humorous Joke Jokes Mine Most Point Somewhere Them Tunes View]
I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human. Rainn Wilson
[ Again Awkward Born Comedy Experience Funny Great Human Joke Lines Mean Moments Only Part Pauses Punch Really Show Television Think]
Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well. Will Arnett
[ Anything Easy Everybody Force Funny Give Going Good Got Jokes Made Most Nervous Network Notes Out Really Script Shows Spin Their Think Trying Us Well]
The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow. H. G. Wells
[ Crisis Joke Today Tomorrow]
I met Ashley two weeks before I married him. It was a joke-the most ridiculous thing I've ever done. Once I was married, I didn't want to be a failure, so I stuck it out for six months, which was about six months too long. Shannen Doherty
[ Ashley Before Done Ever Failure Him Long Married Met Months Most Once Out Ridiculous Six Stuck Thing Too Two Want Weeks Which]
A Swedish newspaper reporter called and said, You've been awarded the Prize. I was quite sure it was a practical joke. Joshua Lederberg
[ Awarded Been Called Joke Newspaper Practical Prize Quite Reporter Said Sure Swedish]
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. Dolly Parton Intelligence
[ Also Because Blonde Dumb Jokes Know Offended]
I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke. Spike Milligan
[ Harry Joke Laughing Many Singing Somebody Spent Told Until Years]
You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble. Mark Russell
[ Best Ford Gets Jerry Joke Know Trouble]
When in doubt, go for the dick joke. Robin Williams
[ Doubt Go Joke]
I don't think I could ever do a network sitcom because the humor is often based on some trite circumstance. I don't want to be a part of a show where it's mostly about coming up with the jokes. Sherilyn Fenn
[ Based Because Circumstance Coming Could Ever Humor Jokes Mostly Network Often Part Show Sitcom Some Think Trite Up Want Where]
The girl-next-door image is a sort of joke; for years, I couldn't get any roles other than as somebody dark. Felicity Kendal
[ Any Dark Get Image Joke Other Roles Somebody Sort Than Years]
A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke. Max Eastman
[ Divine History Joke Next Poet Room]
Tool of Communist agitators... it's really a joke, isn't it? Because, quite clearly, we are a party of real moderates. It just shows how little they understand. Helen Suzman
[ Because Clearly Communist How Joke Just Little Moderates Party Quite Real Really Shows Tool Understand]
When my mother died, I had to go on air that night and do jokes. Graham Kennedy
[ Air Died Go Had Jokes Mother Night]
Once you start thinking about it in a mercenary frame of mind, then you're finished. You're a joke, because there are too many mercenaries out there already. Tommy Shaw
[ Already Because Finished Frame Joke Many Mercenaries Mercenary Mind Once Out Start Then Thinking Too]
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs. Richard Marx
[ Album Does Joke Really Tour Tours Two Well Which Will]
The joke or the pratfall is easy for me to do. Sandra Bullock
[ Easy Joke]
I think the more the actor lets you know what he thinks of the character, the less the audience cares - like a comedian who laughs at his own jokes. Neil LaBute
[ Actor Audience Cares Character Comedian His Jokes Know Laughs Less Lets More Own Think Thinks]
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood. Gloria Steinem
[ Any Armies Behave Being Chooses Dirty First Full Her Human Joke Natural Need Quo She Should Sisterhood Something Status Their Treat Warned Weapon Will Woman]
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy. Bob Saget
[ Comedy Dissect Joke Much Ruined Think Too Whatever]
Generally speaking, we get the joke. We know that the free market is nonsense. We know that the whole point is to game the system, to beat the market or at least find someone who will pay you a lot of money, 'cause they're convinced that there is a free lunch. Ron Bloom
[ Beat Cause Convinced Find Free Game Generally Get Joke Know Least Lot Lunch Market Money Nonsense Pay Point Someone Speaking System Whole Will]
Postmodernism is among other things a sick joke at the expense of revolutionary avant-gardism. Terry Eagleton
[ Among Expense Joke Other Postmodernism Revolutionary Sick Things]
Audiences are always better pleased with a smart retort, some joke or epigram, than with any amount of reasoning. Charlotte Perkins Gilman
[ Always Amount Any Audiences Better Epigram Joke Pleased Reasoning Smart Some Than]
Perhaps our Irish friends should not so completely turn their backs on their historical dishes, no matter how many jokes they might have to endure. Nick Clooney
[ Backs Completely Dishes Endure Friends Historical How Irish Jokes Many Matter Might Our Perhaps Should Their Turn]
I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean? Tone Loc
[ Joke Know Life Lived Mean Real Talk]
People make jokes about how black people are the first ones to be killed off. Sanaa Lathan
[ Black First How Jokes Killed Make Off Ones]
You want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death. Brian P. Cleary
[ Been Beginning Books Death Done End Gone Joke Middle Read Stories Story These Thing Want Whole Wind]
I used to do this big rant at the end of some gigs with Ben Folds Five. The band broke into this big heavy metal thing and I started as a joke to scream in a heavy metal falsetto. I found myself saying things like: Feel my pain, I am white, feel my pain. Ben Folds
[ Am Band Ben Big Broke End Falsetto Feel Five Folds Found Gigs Heavy Into Joke Metal Myself Pain Rant Saying Scream Some Started Thing Things Used White]
Comedy, at least the way I write comedy, is just drama with jokes. Rob Walton
[ Comedy Drama Jokes Just Least Way Write]
If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you. Wanda Sykes
[ Behind Come Couple Cut Cutting Deep Hey Joke Little Massage Now Put Say Something Stinks Try]
It's not like we have a formula, but I think one of the reasons this show has survived is that it has a big heart at its center. Other cartoon shows have people crap on each other and make racist jokes. But I don't think people tune in for that. I just don't think a show lasts for 10 years without a heart. Trey Parker
[ Big Cartoon Center Crap Each Formula Heart Jokes Just Lasts Make Other Reasons Show Shows Survived Think Tune Without Years]
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. George Orwell
[ Custard Dirty Every Funny Joke Mental Pie Rebellion Sort Subversive Ultimately Whatever]
If you keep up with pop culture, everybody knows the joke. Shawn Wayans
[ Culture Everybody Joke Keep Knows Pop Up]
A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character. Shawn Wayans
[ Character Had Jokes Leading Lot Most Nasty Payoff Situations Some Stuff Ultimate Would]
Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw. Oliver Goldsmith
[ Affronted Art Harm Joke Raw Receive Salt Thee Thou Throw Unless Wilt]
My whole life, I've been telling jokes. Brad Garrett
[ Been Jokes Life Telling Whole]
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude. Frank Muir
[ Gentle Grin Humor Inflicting Jokes Masculine Pursuit Solitude Superiority Usually Way Weapon Wit]
I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something up and pay it off with a laugh or a scare. Simon Pegg
[ Both Ghost Joke Kind Laugh Off Pay Scare Set Similar Something Story Think Up]
The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. Ronnie Barker
[ Double Joke Marvelous Mean Meaning Only Thing]
I guess they're tough jokes. But there's lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can't cry. Sam Kinison
[ Cry Either Guess Jokes Just Laugh Lots Things Tough]
The joke of our time is the suicide of intention. Theodor Adorno
[ Intention Joke Our Suicide Time]
I don't want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn't sing, dance or tell jokes, does he? Ian St. John
[ Award Christmas Dance Decorating Digging Does Garden Got Guys House Jokes Jonathan Last Ross See Sing Tell Want]
You can't just yell jokes at people. David Cross
[ Jokes Just Yell]
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as I do from a joke. Julian Clary
[ Constructing End Get Gets Good Joke Just Laugh Much Out Sentence Thrill]
The most casual examination will reveal the fact that all the jokes about the horrible results of masculine cooking and sewing are written by men. It is all part of a great scheme of sex propaganda. Heywood Broun
[ Casual Cooking Examination Fact Great Horrible Jokes Masculine Men Most Part Propaganda Results Reveal Scheme Sewing Sex Will Written]
Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes. Mike Epps
[ Die Earth Everybody Jokes Living Narrow-Minded Nobody Personality Point Serious Situation Telling Think Where]
You can trust a Neil Simon script. Every dot. Every dash; that pause means something. He takes all the jokes out, practically. Hector Elizondo
[ Dash Dot Every Jokes Means Neil Out Pause Practically Script Simon Something Takes Trust]